


Baking Your Cake And Fucking It Too

by tally_kiza



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bad Puns, Cake, Coitus Interruptus, Ecto-Ass (Undertale), Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Exhibitionism, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sanscest - Freeform, kustard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23520967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tally_kiza/pseuds/tally_kiza
Summary: Sans and Red decide to bake a cake for their bros. Red gets distracted by another kind of cake. Kitchen fucking and coitus interruptus ensues.
Relationships: Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 88





	Baking Your Cake And Fucking It Too

“huff… huff… you sure ya wanna do this, red?” Sans asked the skeleton behind him. Both of them were red-faced and naked save for the aprons they currently donned. But it might have been a bit too late to ask now, with the other skeleton balls deep inside him, spearing his asshole with his summoned cock.

Red’s hands gripped Sans’s hips, digging his fingers into the soft blue flesh as he thrusted. “mmphH― yeah ‘course, sweetheart. why wouldn’t i wanna bang- _hhHhhMph-_ bang such a hot piece ‘a ass into the counter?”

The counter in question, being in the kitchen. In the middle of the day. A forgotten bowl of cake batter rested in front of them, its dreams of ever becoming the cake it's forever longed to be have long since shattered and been discarded amidst the nearby pile of jackets and wet shorts. The bluer skeleton leaned all his weight into the counter, breath stuttering as he tried to speak.

“what if paps gets home soon, though? f-fuck― we might _ass_ ault his sockets with this heheheh-- _hNRCK fuck, red!”_ Sans gasped at a particularly hard thrust. 

Red leaned in and seductively whispered in his acoustic meatus, “i know you are but what am i...” 

“fuck sans,” the other breathlessly snickered out. 

A sharp circular grind of Red’s hips against him punctuated his growl. _“ex-actly…”_

Sans’s voice cracked with a full-out moan at the sudden new pace that Red pistoned into. The feverish pounds into him were a sharp change from the slow heated thrusts of before that reached so delightfully deeply into him. It sent new waves of pleasure throughout his bones, making them rattle quietly against the stone counter.

“and _\--ummph yeS--_ don’t worry babe, ‘m sure paps will be fine with it once we _ass_ uage him with ‘at cake.”

“that’s, uh,” Sans stifled a moan, “that’s kind of a half- _baked_ idea ya got there, given that the cake ain’t even made yet.”

“that ain’t the cake i was talkin’ ‘bout, doll...” Red growled as he nipped his collar, his hands rubbing circles into the other’s deliciously soft, round ass. He revelled in the way it jiggled from the force of his thrusts. Fuck, thats hot.

A particularly long, loud groan forced its way out of Sans as the other leaned into him even more, the thick cock inside him prodding something that sent new hot waves of pleasure through him with every thrust. 

“sh-shit, red! oh my god--hhnngck!” 

Red grunted heatedly as his boyfriend pushed back against him. “mmmph, i’m uh, i’m flattered sweetheart heheheh, but i’m not a go―”

“OH MY GOD, SANS!!!”

Fuck.

Both of them froze. 

Their shrunken eyelights crawled towards the door in front of them. Standing in the open front doorway, was Papyrus. A very upset Papyrus. His face wrinkled up in confusion and disgust.

But not _just_ Papyrus, no no, it was _worse._ Because mercy is illegal when you fuck in the kitchen. Cradled in his opposite hand was a brown flower pot. Or more accurately, a Floweypot. The bright yellow flower sitting in it shared a matching look of disdain, looking very much like he wanted to wash his eyes out with bleach.

“h-hey, bro,” Sans said, a strained edge to his voice. He was sweating bullets under his brother’s gaze.

Papyrus stared incredulously at the two of them. Neither of them had moved from their spots or made to cover up. Both of them blessed their stars that he was at an angle where he couldn’t see anything below their waists. 

“DON’T YOU ‘HEY’ ME, SANS. ARE YOU TWO FUCKING?! IN THE KITCHEN! SERIOUSLY?!” 

He motioned furiously at Flowey. “RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!!”

Flowey suddenly shrieked in indignation. “What the frick did you just call me??!!”

The other two skeletons in the room suppressed snorts. He was more of a weed than a salad, but anything that pissed off the flower was good in their books.

Papyrus’s furious look of concentration at them broke, suddenly sweating bullets instead. His eye sockets darted nervously around. “UM, NO, I- I DIDN’T, FLOWERY!! THAT WOULD BE A VERY NOT-COOL-FRIEND THING TO DO! AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM THE COOLEST OF FRIENDS!!”

The flower buried his head in his leaf-hands and growled. “Ughhhh, this house tour sucks, Papyrus! I can’t even bear to look at anything anymore ‘cause of those two!!”

“YES, YES, YOU’RE VERY RIGHT, FLOOWY! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MAGNIFICENT IF SOME PEOPLE HADN’T BEEN _FUCKING_ IN THE _KITCHEN_ DURING IT!” He ground out with clenched teeth. His anxiety was completely forgotten with renewed frustration. The naked skeletons withered under his angry gaze.

“uh, sorry, paps,” Red interjected, “ _patella_ the truth, we just wanted to _fe-more_ nice instead of _skull_ king around all day and bake a cake for ya. got distracted though, _humerusly_ enough.”

Both his and Sans’s grins turned shit-eating as his spiel went on. They were both quite proud of the string of wordplay.

Papyrus’s grin, however, grew ever bigger with silent rage. “SANS… POINTY SANS… YOU’VE BOTH DISRESPECTED MY KITCHEN AND MY SALAD TWICE NOW. FIRST WITH YOUR LEWD DISPLAY OF PUBLIC FUCKENING AND MISUSE OF APRONS… NOW WITH THOSE TERRIBLE PUNS…”

Their mischievous grins melted off their faces. Shit. Both of them were used to loud outbursts of anger from their Papyri, but silent furious rage was a whole new sight for them.

“SO I AM GOING TO LEAVE. AND SHOW FOOLERY AROUND THE YARD FOR 5 MINUTES. AND WHEN WE COME BACK. _NEITHER_ OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE HERE.”

A tense moment hung heavily in the air. It could’ve been sliced with a knife for how thick it was.

Then like clearing thunderstorm clouds that merely sprinkled, it passed as the rage-filled strain in Pap’s sockets replaced itself into its more usual cheery appearance.

“SO!! COME ALONG, OLD FRIEND!” He turned about-face and marched back out the open door. “I’M SURE YOU’LL LOVE THE DAFFODILS; THEY LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!”

After a moment he added, “AND PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES, SANS!!!”

Flowey’s shrieks of “What the frick!! Stop calling me a salad!! And my name’s not Foolery! UghHHH this is the worst timeline!!! I hate the surface!!” were renewed as they left and could be easily heard even after the door slammed shut. What a loud flower.

The poignant silence afterwards rang out loudly in the kitchen before the two naked skeletons broke out into loud laughter. 

“welp. that was… something,” Sans snickered, burying his head in his hands. “told ya he’d come back.”

“yeah, yeah, ya were right. he didn’t even appreciate the cake, either,” Red patted Sans’s ass twice in disappointment. “but god, i have _never_ seen your paps that angry before. he’s scarier than m’ bro sometimes.” 

“me neither heheheh. he’s pretty cool, though, right? how he kept his temper like that.” Sans fondly recollected memories of his brother and his coolness. Stars, he had a great bro. 

“yeah, he’s almost as cool as m’ bro, too.”

He leaned into the skeleton below him, breath hot as he whispered into his acoustic meatus. “but hey, ya wanna get outta here? m’ dicks been feelin’ pretty lonely ever since paps came in and stopped _me_ from comin’ in too.”

Red ground his hips into the other’s ass to punctuate his sentence. _“and god, i wanna come in…”_

Sans stifled a moan. He had almost forgotten about the cock in his ass and the sudden movement and spike of pleasure reminded him _very_ thoroughly. “fuuck, y-yeah. sounds like a skele-ton of fun, eheheh. my room or yours?”

The other thrusted once, twice, as he considered their options. “dealer’s choice, sweetheart. either way… _we’re gonna have a great time.”_

**Author's Note:**

> sans and red: (decide to fuck in red’s kitchen instead of their rooms)  
> edge, just wanting to bake his lasagna in peace when they shortcutted in: (scandalized aneurysm noises)


End file.
